Noise

I am so excited to share with you that I just penned my second song of the year! Probably the most honest song that I have ever written :)

Noise 
It seems like everybody’s got a story that they want to share
But when I try speak up nobody seems to care
It seems like our voices evanesce into air
Cause right now, I am trying to figure out if I am even there

So, Take this noise right out of my ear
Yeah I am done trying to hear
Listen close, my heartbeat’s clear
No I’ve got nothing to fear

I will brave the dark, figure out the night
Got a pen but I won’t let you write
This is my story, this is my light
I’ve got nothing to hide.

Love hate peace in one phrase, Its they way people express these days
Earth, fire, money for the gain, it the only way, they say, to find our place
It seems like our voices our trying to leave a trace.
Right now, I am trying to figure out if we are even sane

So, Take this noise right out of my ear
Yeah I am done trying to hear
Listen close, my heartbeat’s clear
No I’ve got nothing to fear

I will brave the dark, figure out the night
Got a pen but I won’t let you write
This is my story, this is my light
I’ve got nothing to hide.

But it doesn’t work that way
When you are trying to hear what they gotta say

No it doesn’t work that way
When you learn to fear what they wanna say

So, Take this noise right out of my ear
Yeah I am done trying to hear
Listen close, my heartbeat’s clear
No I’ve got nothing to fear

I will brave the dark, figure out the night
Got a pen but I won’t let you write
This is my story, this is my light
I’ve got nothing to hide.



 Tell me what you think in the comments below (and maybe someday I will post the audio online!)

Who am I?

This is my second insight poem. Again still rough, but it was written in the wilderness :)

Who am I?
You Know sometimes
You just think you know yourself
I just think I know myself.
Like, I got this all figured out.
This billion-pieced puzzle called,
Life.
Only to be hit, right smack in the face.
I get up, only to get knocked down,
Again.
Funny, isn’t it?
People ask me questions:
What do you wanna be?
Who did you used to be?
I answer: I mean
I sort of guess the right answers.
I pretend to look
confident, secure, sure.
While I really am just
broken. A broken billion-pieced
puzzle. Each piece tastefully
Snickering at me.
A puzzle that really,
No one can put together
Not even me.

But, an impeccably manufactured mask
hides this
Peculiar Puzzle.


My mother then says,
Don’t you try to masquerade it,
Masks can only hide the replicated
So what, am I replicated?
Mum please tell me.
No, my darling you are not a
Replica.
So I tell you to
Remove the mask
Show everyone
All the damaged pieces.
Maybe that puzzle can’t be fixed by
You.
But don’t you let it define
You.
Don’t live your life a lie.
Baby please,
Remove the mask.

So I. I painfully. Painfully I. I remove. Remove the. The mask.

Everything feels raw
Red, hot, raw

And
I embrace this funny thing
called Life. I get knocked down seven times,
Get up eight times. I laugh with the pieces.
With the pain,
the sadness,
the humiliation.
I burn the mundane mask,
Expose my imperfections.
Red, hot, raw.

So ask me those questions
Again. Except this time,
Don’t you dare ask me
Who I used to be
Who I want to be.
But rather ask me,

Who
I
am.

Now.

At this
very Moment.

Cause frankly
I am not afraid of it
No more.

Return from the Wilderness

I just had the best experience of my life! To keep it short, a group of us juniors trekked the tallest mountain in the Kanto region, by foot, for four days and three nights. We literally climbed our way to the top as beginners and descended to the bottom as tree huggers (well not really). So after 4 days and 3 nights out of civilization, I am back and boy, do I feel good:)

I learned many, many valuable lessons on this exciting journey and I wish I could just write it all at once, but I guess that would be boring and uninspiring...

However one not so boring thing that I learned was that when I am not so distracted from the pervading wi-fi and technology, I gain insight into things that I never really took much time to delve into before. I wrote a few poems that I probably never would have, were it not for this journey.
It is still rough, but I would like to share one of my "insight" poems.

My Goal in Life?
So people ask me,
What’s your goal in life?
I give them my very
Habitual answers
And pray that satisfies.
Lawyer, CEO, Doctor,
Rich, Powerful, Familiar
undergraduate at Stanford,
Doctorate at Harvard.
I mean, those answers that make
Mum's face shine bright
Dad nod with approving pride.

I never say what I really think, 
though.
No, can’t risk spitting
the embarrassing Truth.
But,

Maybe
My goal in life is to just
Survive
As long as I can before
Death.

Or maybe it is as simple as
living to make others smile,
or to live to destroy the vile.

Maybe it is living to
inspire and motivate others
Or to teach
and educate one another.

Maybe it is living
to feed the hungry
and roof the shelterless
Or it is to
Breathe colors for the lifeless
Paint harmonies for the hopeless

So what, if my goal does not accumulate
much monetary wealth.
I might not wish to live to overwhelm
my material shelves.

Maybe my goal in life is to be
Rich of things that Fire can’t 
Burn.
To feel secure by treasures
That dirty hands will never yearn

Maybe my goal in life
Does not make the perfect package
But, honestly I am okay With that.
Cause quite simply my
Goal in life is to
Savor, every last lick
This gift of life.
Make sure that I share
Every single bite
tasty or not
with some other.

Don’t you dare tell me that is not
A worthy enough goal.

Don’t,
You,
Dare.

Towering heights.

Finally. It's been a year since I composed a complete song, and today it finally happened. After a total of nine different uninspiring half-written songs, my creative juices rekindled, and my new favorite song, Towering Heights, was created. Honestly though, words cannot explain how my feelings of happiness and pride overwhelm me at this very moment. You see, over the past year, I went through a creative block. A creative block is basically where a predominantly right side thinker is just not able to use their otherwise creative function effectively. It almost felt like I was dropped into a large box without a way to climb out of it, while still knowing what laid outside the box. This block affected not only my songwriting, but also my writing, my singing and my piano/violin playing. This was incredibly discouraging and difficult for me as music is something I largely identify with. I am still recovering from this and everyday is another hard and tiring step forward; sometimes tiring to the point of wanting to giving up. However, because of what I was able to accomplish today I feel that after all my tiny steps I am finally able to take a giant meaningful step. Now I feel empowered to not give up and keep at music, because sometimes these things happen. We just can never know unless we keep at it.

I would just like to share my favorite lines from my new song :)

Towering heights

The art of trying to find the self

In the plastic jars of material shelves

The sky's too high so you bare each sell

But I'll Climb right through life's daylight spells

I will probably post the entire song (along with the audio or video) sometime :)

What a way to end the week! 

Me.

 I'm Nashe. Sixteen with big dreams.  I'm Zimbabwean, Sri Lankan and a proud holder of the Japanese passport. Music is my current passion <3

This blog is about how I breathe the simple Tokyo life :)